Mchongoano

Sina Makosa lyrics-Les Wanyika

Very captivating lyrics for this song “Sina Makosa” by Kenyan band Les Wanyika. Infact one lyric stands out “Yule si wako, nami si wangu, chuki ya nini kati yangu mimi na wewe?” (she is not yours, not mine either, so what’s the beef between me and you). My thoughts are that these guys were speaking about a woman in a club scene setting where she doesn’t belong to anybody but the guy with the most vybe. What do you think?

Mchongoano 2011

Una mkono rough hadi ukishika mouse, computer inadai found new hardware.

Umezoea kula mogoka hadi unaogopa kumeza mboga

Ati wewe nimchafu mpaka ukiingia kwa lake kuswim, fish zinatoka kutema mate

Ati siz yako ni mnono mpaka chali yake humshow 'u r 2 in a million.

Ati umezoea kuokoa jahazi hadi safcom hukuuliza utahama lini?

Ati Unakipara ukivaa polo neck unakaa roll on

Ati wewe ni mzee hadi ukizaliwa "OLD TESTAMENT" ilikuwa inaitwa "TESTAMENT"

Umezoea kutumia wasee please call me mpaka ukipress *130* simu ukutolea phone book ujichagulie.

We ni dentist mpro hadi unang'oa blue tooth ya phone yako.

Ati wewe mweusi tu sana mpaka hauna bright ideas.

Ati mtoi wenu alizaliwa akiwa mblack mpaka doki akasema, " Kameungua".

We ni mkonda hadi uki dance helicopter una take off...

UKo na macho kubwa hadi wewe huitwa eye witness

A miser
A miser person alinunua mbuzi!
Akamwambia mpishi, Nyama nusu ipike pilau na nyingine itie kwenye friza!
Kichwa fanya supu na miguu fanya mchuzi chukuchuku!
Ngozi usitupe tutafanya mswala, utumbo pika na ndizi na mifupa tutawauzia wenye mbwa!

Mpishi akamuliza: Hutaki na sauti ya mbuzi tufanye ring tone kwenye simu yako?

Once upon a time.....
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven , God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God took a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made!"

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land in the eastern part of Africa and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Kenya the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, mountains, streams, hills, and water falls.
The people from Kenya are going to be very handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world holding good jobs. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace and go to the Olympics." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!!!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the clowns that will run their government."

Mourinho taunts Chelsea: I�ll be back with another Premiership team and win here
Inter Milan boss Jose Mourinho says he's not ready to end his haunting of Chelsea after last night's Champions League triumph. The Special One paid tribute to his old club, but then fired a warning at his former employers. Mourinho said of Chelsea: "This is a team that lost a semi-final with a goal that was not a goal, lost a semi-final on penalties, lost a final on penalties, lost a semi-final in a game they should win 3-0 with three penalties. This is the history of this club and these players. It is a history of frustration. "Tonight, they felt immediately that Inter were the best team and this brings frustration to great players. These are my players, my people but today I was the enemy and the enemy won. "I celebrated a lot in the dressing room. It was a big victory for my team. I love Chelsea, I love this stadium, I love these people but I am a professional. "Who knows, in the future I may coach another English team and I will come here again as an opponent."

radio presenters
i hate radio presenters who whenever they're playing a good song, they tend to disrupt it. e.g a song which has been hiting in the market instead of playing the song from the begining to the end, they interupt it. i really hate this. especially stations in nairobi wacheni wivu you can either play the song or just dont.......................

mchongoano
nyinyi ni wengi hadi mtoi wa chucha anaitwa etc
phone yako ni mzee ikianguka inamwaga credit
nyanya yako ni mzee mpaka ile tyme god alisema let there be light yeye ndio aliwasha
siz yako amebit ile day alizaliwa mbuyu wako alisema..... i wish ningetumia cd

Rockaholic.
=> Just had too much sukumawiki, am'a call it greenday. => And ma comps just had another virus attack, ama call it system of a down. => And why is it everyone's talking nonsense? Guess all am hearing is Eva (non) sense. => Gonna buy my ex a bombshell gift, guess what, it's bullets for my valentine. => Wat's with everyone in this city? Guess I'll call it crazy town. => Seems like I'll be at home all weekend, that's a simple plan. => Am so starved again right now... might soon suffer Ma Rasmus, ooh! and from where I am, the fridge's 3 doors down. => Out for a drink but left hurriedly...Reason? Whoo (the) bar stunk. (Hoobastank). => Found little deedee out playing Googoo dolls with her friends. => Heard about sailors on Somali Waters?... Said they had been maroon 5'ved by the killers. => Rumors about a minister denied visa to U.S? Learnt that he's an All American Reject.

Hero and the Media

A Kyuk is passing the game zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The kyuk jumps off his bike, runs to the cage, and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the kyuk brings her back to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A standard reporter has watched the whole thing. The reporter says to the kyuk, "Sir, that's the most gallant and brave thing I ever saw a man do in my whole life."

The kyuk replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt I had to."

The reporter says, "Well, I'm from the ea standard, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living, and, just out of my own curiousity, what political affiliation do you have?"

The kyuk replies, "I'm a GSU paramilitary from central provine and I'm PNU supporter ."

The following morning, the kyuk buys The EA standard to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on the front page:

GSU PARAMILITARY ASSAULTS ONE OF KENYA'S ENDANGERED SPECIES UNDERCONSERVATION AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.

Trained Parrot
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her. Son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her. Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval. Son #3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be. Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway." Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever wan! t on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car." Next, she went to Son #3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."